Came across a wonderful document recently which, though it would be so much easier just to post it as is, will not reproduce, having been lavishly doctored by a sub-editor as if to send it to an old style hot metal printer. So, here it is. Whether or not you know any of those mentioned, it is a wonderful slice of life in the 60’s, written by the one person whose precised life should have been at the top of the list, the late Penny Valentine.
DISC OFFICE STAFF – THE TRUTH…..
Herewith biographies of some of your fav rave reporters who unmercifully uncover pop’s most sordid and deadly secrets each exciting week
DAVID HUGHES….Social customs unknown except that he shares a flat with another man who is soon to fling himself into a marital state to escape Hughes and the budgerigar and cooking every night and the Hughes lady, The Lord, Amen. Rarely inebriated. Conducts himself like a boy scout leader at all times. Comes from family of vegetarians – therefore rarely returns home at weekend because cannot face the thought of nut stew. Has warm sense of humour and is liable to fall over when doing good deeds.
MIKE LEDGERWOOD….Social customs widely known. Becoming Disc’s most eligible bachelor and a pride to Hugh Hefner. Secretive about his black diary with endless names inside. Likes organising parties, coach trips and jollies. Would have made a good recruit for Billy Butlin’s. Falls in love roughly ten times a year. Values material possessions, e.g. car, and dresses to fit in with these. An ornithologist at heart with a staggering capacity to drink and rave at length. Liable to come to untimely end at young age.
CAROLINE BOUCHER….Shrouded in an air of constant mystery which is suddenly split with amazing confessions. e.g. “I used to ride to hounds” and “We helped bail out the local village people during the great flood” Definite throwback to evil times when we had Lords and Villains. Would make an excellent lady chairman of social body, conduct Meals on Wheels service or marry the local vicar. A country girl at heart inbred with strong Ken. High Street streak. Imagine she would be a good hockey player. Will outlive us all.
HUGH NOLAN….Social customs unknown to C.I.D. Lives on constant edge of precipice, probably unaware of this fact. Drifts through life wavering backwards and forwards to unavoidable disaster. A frustrated dropout with inbred hatred of official bodies. Other bodies are OK. Fills others with feeling of either wanting to punch him on the nose, ignore him or get very concerned about his welfare. Will probably meet a hideous end merely because he cannot help himself.Charming but fated. Will probably emigrate to Mexico or Lebanon. (Hugh in fact emigrated to Australia, became a disc jockey but died about two years ago)
GAVIN PETRIE….Scottish Nationalist with overinflated liking of violence. Very strong, funny and determined. Would have made excellent clan leader, MP or doctor. Drinks more than any other member of highly alcoholic staff. Hyochondriac. Flaps only inside and has good human failing of only wanting to see birds when they have money to lend him. Will probably die of overdose of haggis
JUDY NOAKES….Would have made a good nurse. Definite streak of Conservatism, slight snobbery and sweetness. Destined to become one of Britain’s Young Marrieds with expensive house and “Good Homes” lying next to “Woman” in the lounge. Knits, giggles, shouts at boyfriend. Will make good fairly no nonsense mother. Can cook, sew, scrub. Flares up easily, Very amusing to regard when drunk
BOB FARMER….Colourful, moody, aggressive, stupid, talented, probably schizophrenic. Would have made a good orchestra leader, actor or dress designer. Wants to be a STAR. Unlikely to ever reach goal. Suffers from personality cult. Vitriolic. Under it all is kindly longing for recognition from anyone. Frustrated at all turns. When drunk, signs any group within reach and purports himself unseemingly. Sober he is cold and short-tempered. Would, on reflection, probably become a monk.
Penny and Hugh are sadly no longer alive. I know Gavin, Judy, Caroline and I are(!), of Bob and Mike I have no knowledge. My whole life, particularly on reflection, has been one of joy, and those five years on Disc, especially 1967-70 were among the happiest.